Back-to-back Cadfael
Ross Kemp on Watership Down
Are we living in the last days?
My life coach died in a car crash
Plummeted his mother into hopeless despair
She hangs about the laurel walk
I never know what to say to her
Have you seen Tommy Walsh’s Eco House?

I’m at the mercy of the local scold
She knows, I know she knows about the bothy on the Knoydart
I should have listened to Pop Tart Mark
And had the head dissolved in acid by a Belgian clean up team
I’ve taken 90 Bisodol
I’ve had a bellyful of Tommy Walsh’s Eco House

A-tisket, a-tasket, a Pashley with a basket
Behold Hermione, Little Miss Poundbury
I used to hanker after her when days were merrier
Before the ground floor flat West Highland Terrier
Kathleen Ferrier tickets in the post
All them Lib Dems done gone to Cropredy
Tories to Cornbury
As for me, I’ll take the TGV to Zurich and jump off the roof of Dignitas
And leave a note saying:
“Here lies the bloke, the only bloke in Harpurhey
Who wasn’t at the Lesser Free Trade Hall”
Y’all, think on
While you’re capturing the zeitgeist
They’re widening the motorway