When I had my loft
Converted back into a loft
The neighbours came around and scoffed
And called me retro

But they are the type
Who never used to go to the match
Until the family thing got big
In the late eighties

Dad’s a steward in the stand
Brace of comps in his hand

New men run a creche
While home defeats by Jeunesse D’Esch
In the Lux Familiar cup
Are rendered pointless

Stick a burger in my mouth
Shove a seat beneath my arse
Buy the shirt and shorts and socks
Win the keeper’s sweaty jocks
Point a gun down at your foot
Am I supposed to be at home?

Friday night and the gates are low
And it’s raining
Bastard slip of a sub’s ruined my weekend
So you came and went
‘Cos on crap three million was spent
And if Josh wants a five man tent
There must be forfeits

Star man said bye bye
And now you’re reaching for the Sky
Sit back relax and watch us die
Of entertainment

Fiancee said that it was fun
Even though the others won
I can’t stand any more
‘Cos I can’t stand anymore
You were blind but you will see
Tonight’s attendance one-two-three

Friday night and the gates are low
And it’s raining
Bastard slip of a sub’s ruined my weekend
Friday night and I just love complaining
And no I haven’t got anything better to do