Get on my funbus, I’ll take you all for a ride
I’ll tell you about the Cuban’s eight-foot stride
Punch me harder, I didn’t feel a thing
All the kids appreciate the joy I bring

I’m always happy
Ever so happy
There’s no-one more happy
I’m a comedy grandad

Same old Northerner, always got nothing to say
All the same I think I’ll say it anyway
Witness these overalls, these navy-blue overalls
I’m never happy
Never been happy
It’s not in my contract
I’ve got two big keys and they’re both dead big
I’m a quality janitor

Just after dusk I swing from the wrought iron gates
And remember the five o’clock tea-time smell of the estate
I’m always running
All knees and elbows
Got a stick with a spike on
Cartoon ducks laugh at me
I’m a comedy parkie and nobody loves me anymore
A comedy parkie and nobody loves me anymore

Nobody loves me anymore
Nobody loves me anymore
I’m the man who put Nick Straker on the floor
But nobody loves me anymore