I'm a vendor of quack nostrums born in a Kansas shack
I came down to Greenwich Village with a tea chest on my back
I danced a while for Andy and crashed his Cadillac
And now I'm just waiting for my ban

Oh does your heroin lose its glamour on the washboard overnight?
When your mother says "Don't do it" do you crank it up in spite?
Do you rob your brother's Giro? Do you talk a load of shite?
Does your heroin lose its glamour on the washboard overnight?

I've drank too much black coffee
Read too much Bill Burroughs
I've been a he, I've been a she
A "maybe" and "who knows"
I've had the CBGBs
I've journeyed way upstate
So don't you rock me, Daddio

Oh does your heroin lose its glamour on the washboard overnight?
When your mother says "Don't do it" do you crank it up in spite?
Do you rob your brother's giro? Do you talk a load of shite
Does your heroin lose its glamour on the washboard overnight?

Does your heroin lose its glamour on the washboard overnight?
When your mother says "Don't do it" do you crank it up in spite?
Do you rob your brother's Giro? Do you talk a load of shite
Does your heroin lose its glamour
Does your heroin lose its glamour
Does your heroin lose its glamour on the washboard overnight?