Well I met her at party
At, somewhere by sea
She was tall and she was lovely
And she said hello to me

We said all the usual things that you say at a party
I told her some real funny jokes
She broke down and cried

Well we were drinking scotch and cola
And the smoke was far too much
She was leaning on my shoulder
And our hands began to touch

I said, "Do you fancy a dance?"
She said, "But we're dancing"
I said, "Then let's have a drink"
And she said, "All righty"

Now we were drinking to the music
And when suddenly I saw
I was holding onto three of her
That's two more than before

I said, "Would you care for a stroll?"
She said, "Yes I'd like to"
We went for a walk in the mist
Fell over a cliff
When I work up in the morning
Well it sure felt good to be
Just lying in my bath tub
And not the bottom of the sea

I looked at my eyes in glass
Said "Never again"
And just they looked back at me
The telephone rang

[Ring ring]

[Cliff Richard]
Hello

[Bruce Welch]
Hello, Cliff. It's Brucie. Listen, you didn't take that darling home last night, did you?"

[Cliff Richard]
That's right. I didn't take that darling home last night

[Bruce Welch]
Oh. Anyway listen, there's a great new party on tonight
Do you fancy coming?

[Cliff Richard]
No, thanks. Once in a lifetime is enough for me
[Bruce Welch]
Oh

[Hangs up]