CM Punk: "The time has come to tell you all something very personal. I keep my ear to the ground and I hear everything everybody says. And for the past year and a half the words 'pipe bomb' have been completely misunderstood and misused. It doesn't seem anybody in the Universe understands what it means; anybody in this company doesn't understand what a pipe bomb is. Basically what a pipe bomb is in its truest form is the truth. It's honesty. You boil it down and then the essence of a pipe bomb is exactly what all of you lack, honesty. Seems the perception of me is somebody who is a little disgruntled and sat down on a stage in Las Vegas and aired his grievances and said 'pipe bomb'. I became the voice of the voiceless. And then maybe my ego was like a runaway train and I suddenly bitched and moaned and complained about respect and how I didn't get enough of it. And then I turned my back on the people.

Well, that's a lie. Don't be mistaken. I meant everything I said when I said it. Except the part about ice cream 'cause I look out here and the last thing any of you people need is more bars of ice cream. But I was shortchanged and I was disrespected, and sure, I could have just swallowed that bitter pill and accepted my position in the company like everybody else in the back, or I could have left. Instead I made a conscious decision and I sold out. To you. To you I sold out, to me I cashed in. See, I created this persona, this rebel, this anti hero that you all love to cheer for because I knew that you all love to cheer for your superheroes. Because here is the truth about Las Vegas, here is the truth about the WWE is that it doesn't matter that if you're the best wrestler, it doesn't matter if you're the best talker, it doesn't matter if you're the best overall performer, it doesn't matter if you make the two clowns sitting to my left on commentary look like amateur hour. There is a glass ceiling and nobody is allowed to break it. That's the simple story of this place. The more popular you are, the more money you make. The more you people cheer for any given superstar, the more opportunities you're afforded. Why do you think a guy like John Cena, who has admittedly had the worst year of his career, gets title shot after title shot after title shot after title shot? Or why a lethal grappler, why a serious submission specialist like Daniel Bryan puts a smile on his face and settles himself, belittles himself with catchphrases. Or why a 400 pound monster, Brodus Clay, soils his hands by touching your filthy, ugly, little children to get in the ring so he can shuck and jive for you. Or why an invisible child, Little Jimmy, is better positioned on the flagship show Monday Night RAW than a workhorse like Tyson Kidd.

Look at them, they're doing it now. You're doing it now! You're falling for everything I say, you're playing into my hands, but this is the way it is and this is the way you want it because this is the way you handle it. It's easy, it's [???], it's simple to digest because you people can't handle anything complicated, you people can't stomach anything interesting. This is the way it's been since the beginning of the time. We're all here in the circus to entertain you. And nobody's ever been able to attain a modicum of success without you.

Except for now. Until I showed up. I've become the most successful WWE champion of all time. Not of the modern era. No, that's another little buzzword that somebody backstage wants you to say. They probably wanna put it on a t-shirt. But that's the way you get noticed. You don't get noticed until you start to move a couple of t-shirts around here. If I— if I competed in Bruno Sammartino's era, I'd have been champion for 20 years, too. No, I'd have been champion for 30 years. Because wrestling one night a month at Madison Square Garden is easy. You never see a Hulk Hogan wrestle TLC matches against a superstar like Ryback. Because he had it easy. I wrestle physically demanding matches on free television, week in and week out. So much that my one year equals 30 of theirs. And I have attained this success, not— not because of you. I am successful not because of you. I am successful in sprite of you.

Now, I'm the most honest man in this building, I'm the most honest man in this company 'cause everybody else has got the same, old, tired crybaby story. They'll come out here and they'll say 'I do it for the people, I do it for all of you. Let's hear it for Tampa, Florida!' Here's some honesty. I watched Roddy Piper smash a coconut over Jimmy Snuka's head and I sure as hell didn't say 'Golly Gee! I can't wait to go electrify the people of Tampa Bay, Florida.' No! Because I don't care about the people of Tampa Bay, Florida.

There's good guys and there's bad guys in this world and make no mistake about it, ladies and gentlemen, I am a bad, bad man and I can freely admit it. But Ric Flair will come out here and he'll cry his 182 year eyes out and say 'Oh, I did it for all of you'. ["Wooo!"] Now they're wooing. Shawn Michaels can come out here and lose his smile and find his smile, but then in a— in a tearful Hall of Fame speech he'll say that his entire career was just to gain your acceptance. Then a man like Edge is forced to retire and he'll say that he misses competing for people like you. Now, these people, these men are either weak or they're dishonest and they're liars. It's either one or the other. But I— I'm neither weak nor dishonest. I'm the best in the world.

Two types of people on this earth. Those born to be in the spotlight and those born to pay to see the people in the spotlight. Ladies and gentlemen, there's winner and losers. Guess which one you are. You're born to pay to see champions like me, it's not the other way round. And I'll be the first guy to come out here and admit it, I'm honest. I have never ever done this for any of you. There's superstars and there's nobodies. I am a superstar, you are all nobodies. And I'm a real superstar. Those real superstars, hell, if they're your friends, why don't they come out here and give you the millions and millions of dollars they earn? Why don't they lie in your pockets? 'Cause that's— that's not your position on earth.

Uh, I'm being told that we have to take a commercial break. I'm not done, let me explain something to you. Let me explain something to everybody in the truck. We don't go to break when you wanna go to break. We go to break when the champ wants to go to break. Listen up and understand something 'cause the Rock's gonna come out here and he's gonna talk a whole lot. Well, I will now tell you the most important thing you're gonna hear tonight. You do not matter, you do not matter, you do not matter. None of you matter. What you want doesn't matter.

I stand here on the first RAW of 2013, your WWE champion and I promise you, in one year's time I will stand in this ring on the first RAW of 2014 still your WWE champion. What fuels me is your constant disappointment in your self-appointed superheroes to be able to drag this title away from me. And now the Rock has come back, but it's not gonna change the fact that I'm the WWE champion and I'm not gonna let the Rock tear down everything that I've fought so hard to attain. No, no, no, no, not at all. You know, in 2011 when I defeated Alberto Del Rio for this title at Madison Square Garden, I didn't just beat Alberto Del Rio. I beat the system. And every time after that when I beat one of your superheroes, and I don't care if it was John Cena, Ryback, Chris Jericho, Kane, Big Show, Dolph Ziggler, any of the ??? superstars that I've defeated, I wasn't just beating them, I was beating all of you. And for 414 days that's exactly what I've done. In your face, jerks. I have beaten you. I have stomped you out under my oppressive boot and I'm gonna do the same thing to the Rock because I don't care if he's back. You all do not get to win. You are losers. You do not get to win. You do not—"

[The Rock's music is played as he makes his way to the ring.]

The Rock: "The Rock had to hear it all. The Rock wanted to wait until you said everything you had to say, so the Rock knew exactly the kind of man he's dealing with at the Royal Rumble. And now it's become crystal clear to the Rock. You are straight up delusional. You keep mentioning that number 414. 414 days you've been WWE champion. That's incredible, incredible. The real number, it ain't 414, Jack. The real number that haunts your dreams is 20. 20 excuses running around your mind right now. 20 hairs standing up on your straight edge scrotum. Because you know— you know in 20 days you're gonna be defending that WWE championship against the Rock which means in 20 days you know, the Rock knows, they know, in 20 days time's up.

["Rocky! Rocky!"]

You wanted change, you wanted a revolution. You say that when you became WWE champion, you rejected the people. No, no, no, no. The people rejected you. You talked about change. You couldn't do it. You talked about revolution, you couldn't do it. You came out and you promised everybody ice cream bars. Ice cream bars for everybody! And you couldn't even do that. You couldn't provide ice cream if the Dairy Queen car fell and Cookie Puss drove an ice cream truck straight up your ass.
I want you to listen to something. Listen to something, Punk, listen. That's— voices. Voices. You claim— you claim to be the voice of the voiceless, but that's a bunch of hot garbage because here in the WWE Universe, there ain't no such thing as the voiceless. They have— they have voices. And they love to use their voice. They use it every single night. Every night they use their voices. As a matter of fact— as a matter of fact they know something special is getting ready to happen right now. They're gonna use their voice, they're gonna chant the loudest chant you have ever heard. They're gonna chant— they're gonna chant something that is gonna follow you for the rest of your life. They're gonna chant— They're not gonna chant 'respect', they're not gonna chant 'best in the world', they're gonna chant exactly what you are. In three seconds they're gonna chant 'Cookie Puss, Cookie Puss'.

["Cookie Puss! Cookie Puss!"]

CM Punk: "Be the puppets that you are. He got you chant about ice cream the same way I did a year and a half ago. Congratulations. They still don't get to win. You don't get to win."

The Rock: "They don't get to win? They don't get to win. Oh, they've already won. They've already won. See, that's something you fail to realize. They've already won. They won the moment the Rock woke up this morning at 4am. The Rock woke up this morning at 4am. He sent out his early morning tweet to the world. Then the Rock ate his famous pancakes. Then the Rock went to the gym, clanging and banging and clanging and banging. Then the Rock got in his pickup truck and he drove up right up I-75, right through Alligator Alley— right through Alligator Alley, so the Rock can stand right here, right here in the middle of this ring in front of you, in front of them, in front of the world and proudly say: Finally the Rock has come back to Tampa!

["Rocky! Rocky!"]

You see, Punk, it's not just that the Rock is back. No, it's why the Rock is back. Here's why the Rock is back. For three reasons. The Rock is back to entertain them. The Rock is back to stop you. And after ten long years, ten long years, the Rock is back to win that.

The Rock has watched the show. Every Monday Night RAW watching you— watching you, your deceiving, your backpedaling, your lying. The Rock would watch the TV and he'd scream at the TV 'Good God Almighty, somebody tell this man they respect him, just so he shut his punk ass up. And while you're at it, somebody show this man a doctor. Is there a doctor in the house? Because a man who claims that he's straight edge, he's running around here looking exactly like Popeye on crack. Look at you. Punkeye the crackhead. All you need right now is a little thing in your mouth, 'toot toot'.

CM Punk— CM Punk, you have one of the most creative and innovative minds in the history of the WWE. The Rock knows it. You fail to use it. You became WWE champion and you also became the biggest jerk the world has ever seen. The Rock can look you in the eye and tell you this with all passion and with all heart. When the Rock is here, don't you ever say the people don't matter. They matter. They've always mattered. You're the one that doesn't matter."

CM Punk: "Oh, I matter. I'm the most successful—"

The Rock: "It doesn't matter if you matter! The only thing that matters is that you understand, you get it straight in your head that at Royal Rumble there ain't no way, and the Rock means NO WAY, you're gonna stop the Rock from becoming WWE champion."

CM Punk: "Unlike a lot of people I'm glad you're back. I don't care what your schedule is. I don't care if you work here 16 days a year or 365 days a year. You could be Santa Clause and have his schedule, one day a year. I'd still kick your ass. I don't care how many movies you film every year. I know how hard that schedule probably is, but every time you come back, whenever you decide to grace us with your presence, I'm gonna kick your ass. Because this isn't candy land. I'm like nobody you've ever faced before. You can make fun of the color of my t-shirt and you can talk about pie and you can sing songs and you can rhyme and you can do your tired, lame-ass schtick. I just want you to know that come Royal Rumble, and you have about three weeks to realize this, I'm gonna kick your ass 'cause I'm the best in the world. I'm the best thing going today. I'm the best guy you've ever stepped foot in the ring with. And you need to understand, congratulations, Rock, you just graduated from the kiddie table, but you just bit off more than you can chew. You're playing little league with your little insults and your rhymes and your 'millions and millions' and your 'finallys'. And I'm in the big leagues and I'm swinging for the fence. You need to understand that your little jabs and your insults, it's all kiddie games. You can't leave a mark on the champ's face. Come Royal Rumble, understand, when you step in the ring, your arms are just too short to box with God."

The Rock: "You may think that the Rock is boxing with God. But the Rock knows for a fact you are going one on one with the Great One. Don't you think— Don't you think for one single, solitary second that the Rock doesn't know how bad you are, how dangerous you are, how tough you are. The Rock knows that. 414 days. The Rock knows the last time we were in the middle of this ring you hit the Rock with a GTS and you knocked him out cold. Cold as a block of ice. The Rock didn't forget it. You hurt the Rock. You embarrassed the Rock. He said it before, he'll say it again. In 20 days time's up.

But here's the thing. This is what the Rock wants you to do— from now until then. The Rock wants you to go home and think about the next 20 days. As a matter of fact, the Rock wants you to go home and look in the mirror. As a matter of fact, the Rock wants you to go home, look in the mirror and strip naked. That's what the Rock wants you to do. Go ahead and look at yourself. Don't concentrate on your Cookie Puss. Turn around and look at your backside. Turn around, look at your backside and let's try and find a small space on this body that's not covered in ugly tattoos because the Rock wants you to get two more tattoos. Some more tattoos. Here's the thing. Go ahead, on your left butt cheek the Rock wants you to get a tattoo of a big, fat m&m. And then add a Snickers, a Milky Way, a Mounds. You can't have an Almond Joy because unlike you Almond Joys actually have nuts. And then— and then on your right butt cheek, this is what the Rock wants you to do. The Rock wants you to get a tattoo of the Rock's size 15 shoe, so you will have a lifetime reminder of how badly the Rock is gonna kick your candy ass at Royal Rumble."
[The Rock hits CM Punk with a Rock Bottom.]