Punk: "Ladies and gentlemen: The Chairman of the Board, Vincent Kennedy McMahon..."

McMahon: "Yeah! The Chair... Yeah!"

Punk: "Yeah! What a maneuver! Look at you, you're really gonna go through with it aren't you? For somebody whose always been so pro John Cena, I figure you'd come out here wearing one of his ridiculous red t-shirts, you'd have the armbands on. But looking at you now, I can tell you have zero faith in John Cena come this sunday, which I clearly don't blame you."

McMahon: "Well, my faith, or lack of faith in John Cena has nothing to do with this. I simply want you to sign the contract for the right reasons. First of all to make you a rich man, richer than you already are. And secondly I-I I really couldn't live with myself if in fact, somehow, on the last day of your existing contract, somehow you were able to win the championship from John Cena and walk out of Chicago with my title; I could not live with myself. That's why we have the contract. That's why we have all of these provisions in here, just like you asked for, right? I mean, right Phil right, I can call you Phil right? I mean c'mon. Hey, c'mon you wanna open this sucker up, lets open it up okay!"

Punk: "By all means."

McMahon: "Yeah, uh-huh."

Punk: "You wanna have fun? Lets have fun."

McMahon: "I've got everything in here that you want..."

Punk: "Because, my lawyers looked over your contract Vince. And frankly, it just wasn't up to par. So I had 'em draw up a new one! I have it right here. My signature's already on it. All's you gotta do is sign it. I do think you should know about a couple new perks that I've added to it. You say you don't think contractual things should happen in public? Lets ask the WWE Universe! You people want this to go down in public?"

[Crowd Cheers]

Punk: "You wanna hear a couple new perks?"

McMahon: "Don't push me."

[A fan shouts What!]
Punk: "He said don't push me. Did you already look at this? Did somebody stooge this off? Because this is actually provision number one."

[Punk pushes Vince]

Punk: "That I get to push you."

[Punk pushes Vince again and laughs]

Punk: "Vince, I'll push you all I want. Vince, I'll kick you in the nuts and you'll smile at me and like it and Show me some respect! Because if you don't, I find the nearest paper shredder, I throw this puppy in there and sunday, I leave with your WWE Championship.

Provision number one. For a superstar, such as myself, first class travel is not good enough. I want my own jet. And I don't want your jet, your jet smells. Don't try and pawn that thing off on me. I want my own jet. Number two. My face will be on everything. I want my face on the titantron. I want my face on these turnbuckles. I want cups, posters, spoons, knives, forks, shoes, socks. I want everything with my face on it. Number one thing being I want you to bring back the WWE Ice Cream Bars."

[Massive Pop from Crowd]

[Overlaying chants of "Ice Cream Bars" and "We Want Ice Cream"]

Punk: "Look at that, I just made you a million dollars in Ice Cream sales. I want WWE Films to immediately start production on CM Punk The Movie!"

[Crowd Cheers]

Punk: "You can call it: The Chaperone 2. Except mine will be funny and entertaining and successful. And one last thing urr, the main event of WrestleMania being John Cena against your buddy Dwayne.

That's The Rock for nobody who watches bad Disney Movies, yeah.

You can still have that little fantasy, but the match I compete in at WrestleMania will be the main event.
Those are just a few of many new perks, that my lawyers have added to the contract. The last thing that this contract states is that you apologize to me. I know, Vince McMahon doesn't apologize right? But you will apologize to me for suspending me last week. You will apologize... hell you know what, I'm gonna be honest, you're not just apologizing to me, you're apologizing to these people for being one of the biggest hypocrites I've ever seen in my entire life. As far as your anti-bullying campaign goes? You're one of the biggest bullies I have ever met in my entire life and you will apologize!"

[CM Punk Chant]

Punk: "I have had friends. Very talented friends work for this company and be unceremoniously fired."

McMahon: "They deserved it!"

Punk: "They deserved it?"

McMahon: "Yeah."

Punk: "They deserved it? Why? Because you don't know what makes a superstar in 2011? You don't know what these people want? You wanna punish people for actually liking Professional Wrestling? Guys like Colt Cabana, guys like Luke Gallows. huh? You will apologize to me, for them, because they can't be here right now and they can't stand up to you, and they can't let their voice be heard. I am CM Punk, and I am the Voice of the Voiceless and you will apologize, and you will like i!

McMahon: "Hey look, look. Just calm down okay? Lets just... lets just get this signed and just calm down okay. Let's be gentlemen here okay. Lets be gentlemen."

Punk: "Gentlemen?"

McMahon: "Lets be gentlemen and lets be businessmen..."

Punk: "Should we be gentlemen or should we apologize? Vince. Sign the contract, and apologize, and spare your company any further embarrassment."

McMahon: "Lets just get this over with okay. And and I mean... lets just y'know. I-I c'mon. I've eaten a crap sandwich out..."

[Punk flips over the table]
["We Want Ice Cream" Chants]

McMahon: "I don't give a damn what you people want!"

Punk: "That's the problem, Vince! That's the problem, you don't give a damn. And my problem, is I care too much. Am I a bad guy? Absolutely, I don't wear a white hat but I damn sure am in touch with these people want, and right now, I think Boston wants to hear, an apology.

[Crowd Cheers]

McMahon: "I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry."

Punk: "What?"

McMahon: "I said, I said I'm sorry.

Punk: "What? If there was ever an appropriate time? What?"

McMahon: "I apologize you son of a bitch!"

Punk: "This is better than winning the world title 3 times. Vince McMahon just apologized to CM Punk."

[McMahon reaches out to grab the contract that's on the floor]

Punk: "Yeah, pick it up and sign it before the stock plummets some more."

[Overlapping "Colt Cabana" and "We Want Ice Cream" Chants]