[Chorus]
I ain't going home without my candy and my homie
Punk, you're soft as macaroni, I don't think you really know me, homie
I ain't going home without my candy and my homie
Punk, you're soft as macaroni, I don't think you really know me, homie

[Verse 1]
Me and Mike hit the street with the mean sweet tooth
We were dressed to a T in our Halloween suits
Dad said we had to be home before eight
But me and Mike decided we were staying out late
It was nine p.m., Mom was calling me again
I said "Mike, don't she understand we're grown men?"
Then I ran into his chest and my brain felt pain
You already know his name, it's that dumb jerk, James
I stepped back and I waved my lightsaber
And James pointed over at my pack of Life Savers
I said "No, James, you ain't getting those
And if you try to take them, I'mma break your freaking nose
Quit playing, James, I ain't even scared"
Mike said "That ain't James, bro, James is over there"
I said "You're right, and there's Big Blue
So if that's them, then who are you?"

[Chorus]
I ain't going home without my candy and my homie
Punk, you're soft as macaroni, I don't think you really know me, homie
I ain't going home without my candy and my homie
Punk, you're soft as macaroni, I don't think you really know me, homie
[Verse 2]
We ran up the street, and we came across a bus
We climbed up in, and I pulled the door shut
We walked to the front and we peeked out of the window
Nothing but the black night, no sign of the sicko
Then suddenly I seen him, he was gonna spill our guts
I was praying for my life as he walked past the bus
But then my lightsaber fell over right next to me
Crashed on the ground and it lit up like a Christmas tree
It was so bright, lying on the ground
Mike Myers must have heard it, 'cause he stopped and turned around
He walked over and he peeked through the door
And seen my lightsaber shining brightly on the floor
Then me and Mike heard the door swing open
We were filled up with so much fear, we were frozen
Then Mike Myers climbed up onto the bus
Me and Mike were both trapped, he was gonna butcher us

[Chorus]
I ain't going home without my candy and my homie
Punk, you're soft as macaroni, I don't think you really know me, homie
I ain't going home without my candy and my homie
Punk, you're soft as macaroni, I don't think you really know me, homie

[Verse 3]
At the very last second, we escaped from the bus
Then we ran up to the school, but the doors were locked shut
I told Mike "Hurry, go and get some help
I'll be fine here on my own, I can fight this dude myself"
Then my homeboy Mike ran out into the night
I told Mike Myers "Dog, you ain't very bright
Don't you know that you're messing with your life?
You don't bring no knife to a lightsaber fight"
Then I knocked that big old knife right out his hand
I can't even lie, I was feeling like the man
Then he pulled a lightsaber right out of his coveralls
Swung it against my arm, and he cut it clean off
I couldn't believe it, my arm was on the ground
I needed a hand and nobody was around
My last thought as he choked me up against the door
Only one way out, I gotta use the Force
[Chorus]
I ain't going home without my candy and my homie
Punk, you're soft as macaroni, I don't think you really know me, homie
I ain't going home without my candy and my homie
Punk, you're soft as macaroni, I don't think you really know me, homie