[Hook]
I've been waiting for these gifts, I've been waiting all year long (Alright!)
But when I woke up to sneak a peek, all the presents were all gone (Alright!)
Now I ain't one to make a fuss, but Christmas ain't the same
When that old boy James, James, James
Playing reindeer games

[Verse 1]
It was the night before Christmas, me and Mike couldn't sleep
We stayed up guessing about our presents cause we weren't allowed to peek
But we ain't very patient and we couldn't wait no more
I felt the cool winter chill as my feet hit the floor
We opened up the door and we walked down the hall
But there wasn't any presents, there were no presents at all
I looked over, and Mike just started cryin'
I put my hand on his shoulder and said "It's gonna be fine
Don't worry, Mike, we're gonna figure this out
We're gonna get them presents back, that's what Christmas about"
See, without presents, man, Christmas ain't the same
Mike looked over at me and said "It's gotta be James"
I said "You're right, I should've known
In the middle of the night, he must have broke into our home"
Mike said "Yo, he could be anywhere in town"
I said "I know, but we gotta track him down"

[Hook]
I've been waiting for these gifts, I've been waiting all year long (Alright!)
But when I woke up to sneak a peek, all the presents were all gone (Alright!)
Now I ain't one to make a fuss, but Christmas ain't the same
When that old boy James, James, James
Playing reindeer games
[Verse 2]
Me and Mike headed out on that cold winter night
With the snow shining bright underneath the moonlight
We drew James the very best that we could
And taped him up to all the telephone poles in the 'hood
We stopped at the stores, taped his pictures to doors
It was the middle of the night, yo, it was going on four
Me and Mike was getting cold, the trail was getting cold
By now our gifts had probably been sold and resold
The sun came up, we'd been searching all night
We searched left, we searched right, he wasn't anywhere in sight
We was getting tired, we was 'bout to call it quits
And all of a sudden we got an anonymous tip
The caller said "I see him in the woods behind the school!
Hurry, 'cause I think he's got your presents with him, too"
Me and Mike headed off for the woods in a rush
We couldn't believe it, sure enough, there he was

[Hook]
I've been waiting for these gifts, I've been waiting all year long (Alright!)
But when I woke up to sneak a peek, all the presents were all gone (Alright!)
Now I ain't one to make a fuss, but Christmas ain't the same
When that old boy James, James, James
Playing reindeer games

[Verse 3]
Mike fired the slingshot and hit him in the buttcheek
James dropped to his knees and let out a loud shriek
He was dragging a big bag that Big Blue couldn't even lift
Me and Mike ran up and said "Why did you steal our gifts?"
James said "Sorry, guys, money's been tight
Weather's been so cold, there ain't nobody riding bikes
When nobody's riding bikes, man, there ain't no bikes to steal
I've been going to the church to get a nice hot meal"
Mike said "Shut up James, give us back our presents"
I looked at Mike and said "Dog, chill, just wait a second
James is clearly broke, and we got a lot of gifts
It ain't gon' kill us just to give him five or six"
Then James said "Hey guys, how about this?
I ain't keeping five or six, I'm keeping all your freaking gifts!"
I pulled my sword out, I was all ready for war
James pulled his magnum out and said "Gun beats sword"
[Hook]
I've been waiting for these gifts, I've been waiting all year long (Alright!)
But when I woke up to sneak a peek, all the presents were all gone (Alright!)
Now I ain't one to make a fuss, but Christmas ain't the same
When that old boy James, James, James
Playing reindeer games