My record for drunk dialling someone was forty-seven times in a row
I then ended up on a flight to Glasgow,
And a four-hour coach journey
through my Scottish grandmother's childhood holiday destinations,
Which is a pretty strange way
To try and keep the party going.
My father was quite taken by the romance of the situation,
Totally unplanned...
He thought somewhere in my grasping desperation,
falling through churchyard hedges and climbing out of club windows in town...
I had set off an internal satnav
Leading me to retrace her footsteps...
A rest stop at Lochgilphead,
which I remembеr as being incredibly beautiful,
I may havе been hallucinating,
but I think there was a carousel
I sent apology texts.
In a floral nightie
Almost passing for a dress.