[BRAD]
Dear blender
Oh, won't you help a first offender?
Oh, toaster
Don't you put the burn on me!
Refrigerator
Why are we always sooner or later:
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night?

Dear knife drawer
Now won't you help me to face life more?
Oh, trashcan
Don't you put the dirt on me!
Oh percolator
Why are we always sooner or later:
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night?

[JANET]
Everything used to be okay
But I've been had and Brad
I'm glad to say, is on his way
Micro-digital awaker
Why are we always sooner or later:
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night?

Shower curtain
Oh won't you help me to be certain?
Oh, toothpaste
Don't you put the squeeze on me!
Depilitator
Why are we always sooner or later:
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night?
Tell me spectator
Why are always sooner or later:
Bitchin' in the kitchen or crying in the bedroom all night!?