[Frank]
How do you do, I
See you've met my
Faithful handyman
He's just a little brought down because
When you knocked
He thought you were the candyman

Don't get strung out by the way I look
Don't judge a book by its cover
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania

Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy
Or if you want something visual, that's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie

[Brad, spoken]
I'm glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry

[Janet, spoken]
Right
[Brad, spoken]
We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car. We don't want to be any worry

[Frank]
Well you got caught with a flat? Well, how 'bout that
Well babies, don't you panic
By the light of the night, it'll all seem alright
I'll get you a Satanic mechanic

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania

Why don't you stay for the night?

[Riff Raff]
Night

[Frank]
Or maybe a bite?

[Columbia]
Bite

[Frank]
I could show you my favourite obsession
I've been making a man, with blond hair and a tan
And he's good for relieving my tension
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania

Hit it, hey!
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania

(spoken)
So come up to the lab and see what's on the slab
I see you shiver with antici...pation
(sung)
But maybe the rain
(spoken)
Isn't really to blame
So I'll remove the cause
But not the symptom