[Verse 1]
The Empty Bottle was half empty, tide was low, and I was thirsty
Saw her sitting at the bar, you know how some girls are
Always making eyes, well she wasn't making eyes
So I sidled up beside her, settled down and shouted, "Hi there."
"My name's Stewart Ransom Miller, I'm a serial lady-killer."
She said, "I'm already dead," that's exactly what she said
So we tripped the lights fantastic, we was both made of elastic
Midnight came and midnight went, and I thought I was the President
She said, "Do you have a car," and I said, "Do I have a car?"

[Chorus]
What's so great about the Barrier Reef?
What's so fine about art?
What's so good about a Good Times Van
When you're working on a broken
Working on a broken
Working on a broken man?

When you're working on a broken
Working on a broken
Working on a broken man?

My heart wasn't in it, not for one single minute
I went through the motions with her. Her on top, and me on liquor
Didn't do no good, well I didn't think it would
[Chorus]