Diageo Diageo have mounted a Crusade
Creating Arthur’s Day, they’ve suckered us into their charade
Start ’em off on Alco-Pops tastes just like lemonade
Get ’em into the hit while they’re young and none the wiser

Diageo pump the volume up on Arthur’s Day
With The Manic Street Preachers, Primal Scream, Tom Jones and David Gray
To flog their alcohol, they’re revving the youngsters up for a mighty spree
Twitter and Facebook telling them where The Mumford’s ‘r going to be

Happy happy happy happy Arthur’s Day
It’s such…. a Happy clappy advertising’ scheme
Drink sensibly they implore us
As their Hosannas sound a never-ending chorus
‘N kids get hooked on the fantasies that flash before us

Arthurs Alcoholiday is coming round again
He’s the patron saint of porter canonized by the Advertising’ Men
The medics in the ambulance ‘ll be working overtime
The A&E ‘ll be like a drunk tank in the firing line
While Diageo goes AWOL at closing time