[Verse 1: Graham Gouldman & Eric Stewart]
I got me a job on the local paper
Everybody there thinks I'm nice
But they'd better look twice
'Cause it isn't me
I wanna be

[Chorus: Group]
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker

[Verse 2: Graham Gouldman & Eric Stewart]
You keep writing me letters
But I haven't got time
I'm busy looking at photographs
But they'd better not be from the BBC
You're gonna hear from me

[Chorus: Group]
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
[Bridge: Eric Stewart]
Better not turn around
I'll stab you in the back
And you don't know what I'm hiding
Under my plastic mac, under my plastic mac

[Verse 3: Graham Gouldman & Eric Stewart]
I got a very good friend at the CIA
And he says that he never takes bribes
But he's telling lies
'Cause he's into me
He knows I wanna be

[Chorus: Group]
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker

[Bridge: Eric Stewart]
If your brother's wearing dresses
And your neighbour's swapped his wife
Well, I'm gonna make the headlines
With your private life
With your other wife
[Chorus: Group]
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker