I am Ingmar Bergman
You may or may not know my films
You may or may not know anything about me as a person
Still, the strange events following the warm and unexpected reception to my film Smiles Of A Summer Night
Are something that no one has known about – until now

Good, Evil, God, the Devil, Life, Death – these were my usual concerns. This film, though, was a comedy
A comedy! How far from a comedy the events to follow would be

Have you ever felt compelled to do something against your will?
I have. I have

You see, I have a total disdain for escapist art, and yet why, on that cold May afternoon in Stockholm in 1956, did I feel the need to enter that movie theatre to see escapist art of the worst sort, a typical American action film
Well, the title is not what is important. What is important is that I felt compelled to stay against my will, for 90 long minutes

Why? Was it the urge to partake of something mindless?
Was it the urge to indulge in something vacuous?
Was it the urge to do something unlike Ingmar Bergman

And, as lights finally came on I got up and walked out as quickly as I could and onto the street – but not the street I expected

Mr. Bergman, how are you?
Something we can get for you?
Some Ramlösa, like some ice?
My name’s Gerald Geoffrey Weiss
We’ve got to turn him ‘round
Not let him let us down
We’ve got to turn him ‘round
Not let him turn us down
We’ve got to turn him ‘round
Not let him turn us down

How could he be so small to turn us down at all
How could he be so small to turn us down at all
He’s great, but not that great
He thinks he has a choice in all this
He thinks he has a choice in all this
He thinks he has a choice in all this

We’ve offered him the moon
Rejected us like goons
And all the while unfazed, his eyes were dull and glazed
But all that’s in the past

He really has some goal to turn us down at all
He really has some goal to turn us down at all
Is anyone that great?

Let’s see how well he does without us
He’ll see that he is lost without us
He’ll never be that great without us

Bergman, Bergman, Bergman, Bergman, Bergman, Bergman, Bergman, Bergman ...
He’s home, he’s home, and we’re so glad
He’s home, he’s home, and we’re so glad
No fireworks, no marching band
No fireworks, no marching band
But old and young, rejoice and cheer
But old and young, rejoice and cheer
Without him here, we’re barely here
Without him here, we’re barely here

Ah, but Bergman well, he examines all
And most of all himself
Good night, that’s all

Good night, that’s all