The canopy over the main doorway of the Ritz Hotel
Had served as a very large umbrella when the May rains fell
Still the men of Paris glistened and their ladies did as well
As long as their powder was dry, there'd be some heterosexual thrills
With or without the protection of the Paris Ritz Hotel

And every single Parisian will love tonight without using hands

And these are the slides that Mary took when we were overseas
Oh, look at the funny little Frenchmen with some French company
There's the Ritz Hotel where me and Mary stayed a couple of days
Jerry, let go of your sister, what is wrong with you today?
Sit over there with your mother and let's sing 'La Marseillaise'

The only way children are punished, unlike old times is without using hands

Oh, what a lovely city, city, city, city
Oh, what a lovely city, city, city, city
Oh, what a lovely city, city, city, city
Oh, what a lovely city, city, city, city
Oh, are you willing to go?
Are you willing to go?
How about letting me know without using hands?

When the explosion rocked the lobby of the Ritz Hotel
Nobody moved for fear of learning that they weren't all that well
Is there anybody missing? Answer only if you're well
Everyone cheered the good fortune, for indeed it turned out well
Only the manager suffered, but at least his face looks well
The manager is going to live his entire life without using hands

Without using hands
Without using hands
Without using hands
Without using hands
Without using hands
Without using hands
Without using hands
Without using hands
Without using hands
Without using hands
Without using hands
Without using hands
Without using hands
Without using hands