[Intro: Alex Kapranos]
From the West Coast, gonna take a plane
Hit the East Coast, gonna take an A-train
Hit the East Coast, going all the way
Why don't you come to Harlem?

[Verse 1: Russell Mael]
Oh, this place we'd love to see
But I remained in Harlem
Had to pay my parking fees
Felt just like PT Barnum
Caught a couple Pinter plays
I should have stayed in Harlem
Then I heard a policeman say
"I think we should disarm him
I think we should strong-arm him"
So out of place in Harlem

[Pre-Chorus 1: Russell Mael & Alex Kapranos]
Then I see you standing there
With your dyed-black hair and no underwear

[Chorus: Russell Mael & Alex Kapranos] x2
Bom-bom diddy-diddy
Bom-bom diddy-diddy
Bom-bom diddy
Police encounters
[Verse 2: Russell Mael & Alex Kapranos]
Caught a couple Albee plays
I should have stayed in Harlem
Then I heard a policeman say
"Do your best, do not alarm him"

[Pre-Chorus 2: Russell Mael & Alex Kapranos]
I've got eyes for the policeman's wife
In her dyed-black hair and a Bowie knife
I've got eyes for the policeman's wife
The policeman's wife, the policeman's wife
The policeman's wife, the policeman's wife

[Chorus: Russell Mael & Alex Kapranos] x2
Bom-bom diddy-diddy
Bom-bom diddy-diddy
Bom-bom diddy
Police encounters

[Bridge: Russell Mael & Alex Kapranos]
Diddy-diddy (Bom-bom)
Diddy-diddy (Bom-bom)
Diddy-diddy
Police encounters
Diddy-diddy (Bom-bom)
Diddy-diddy
Police encounters
[Verse 3: Russell Mael & Alex Kapranos]
Unions went on strike today
But I remained in Harlem

[Pre-Chorus 3: Russell Mael & Alex Kapranos]
I've got eyes for the policeman's wife
In her dyed-black hair and a Bowie knife
As I see her standing there alone
In her dyed-black hair and her Android phone

[Chorus: Russell Mael & Alex Kapranos] x6
Bom-bom diddy-diddy
Bom-bom diddy-diddy
Bom-bom diddy
Police encounters

[Outro]
Bom-bom