The lawns grow plush in the hinterlands
The perfect little setting for the one night stands
The drapes are drawn and the lights are out
It's the time to put in practice what you've dreamed about
Well she can show you what you must do
To be more like people better than you

And amateur hour goes on and on

And when you turn pro you know
She'll let you know

And amateur hour goes on and on

And when you turn pro
You know she tells you so

Girls grow tops to go topless in
While we sit and count the hairs that blossom from our chins
Our voices change at a rapid pace
I could start a song a tenor and then end as bass
So choose your partners everyone
If you hesitate the good ones are gone
Amateur hour goes on and on

Dance, laugh, wine
Dine and talk and sing
But those cannot replace what is the real thing
It's a lot like playing the violin
You cannot start off and be Yehudi Menuhin
So Amateur hour goes on and on