Monday morning i woke up late
I feel like shit and I can't see straight
One last drink was a bad idea
I'm on the bowl with diarrhea

Out the door in a fog
Barked at by the neighbors dog
Forgot my keys, I went back inside
I got a flat so I can't ride

The phone rings, now what?
I'm an idiot so i pick it up
Now I'm held up on my line
My cretin landlord he's wasting my time

He wants his money or we go to trial
He's got penis envy denial

Another weekend I didn't get laid
It's a Monday morning ant brigade
Another weekend I didn't get paid
It's a Monday morning ant brigade

Fuck it all, no regrets
I'm staying in and you can bet
It sucks outside in the pouring rain
I'll smoke some pot and fry my brain
Thom cut the record down to the bone
I'm the sureshot rocking the microphone

Another weekend I didn't get laid
It's a Monday morning ant brigade

I've got the Monday mornings