[SAMMY DAVIS JR., spoken]
Have you a saloon song, Mr. Rhodes?

(sung)
It's quarter to three
There's no one in the place
Except you and me
So set 'em up Joe

(spoken)
That's all I need: to be a colored Jewish feygele. That's what I really need

Ladies and gentleman, this song "One for my Baby and One for the Road" has been around an awfully long time. And we got to thinking one day about for whom different songs were originally written for. This song was written for Fred Astaire, in a film made during the Second World War called "The Sky's the Limit," by Harold Arlen and Johnny Mercer. Now, I happen to be more than just a fan of Mr. Astaire's, I happen to sort of idolize this man. I do not know him on a personal basis; I've met him once. And he, to me, in our vernacular, is some'in' else. And just to see him walk down the street, to me, is worth the price of admission

(sung, in the style of Fred Astaire)
It's quarter to three
There's no one in the place
Except you and me
So set 'em up Joe
Got a little story
You oughta know

(spoken)
Would you do that thing again? Such kvelling I tell you!

Now of course when Sinatra does this song, his approach is completely different, because he has- well, instead of telling you about it, may we sort of, briefly, satirically show it to you. The style of Frank Sinatra:
Good evening. Uh, my name is Frank Sinatra and I sing songs. I'd like to say rhat I wasn't supposed to be here tonight, but I'm subbing for Smoky the Bear. He had to go to Washington to the White House, which is ridiculous. But uh, I'm not gonna do anything hysterical up here friends, I'm just gonna sing some saloon songs, drink some booze, and blow up Mexico

(sung)
It's quarter to three
There's no one in the place
Except you and me
Set 'em up Joe
Got a little story
You oughta know

I'm drinking my friend
To the end of a brief episode
So make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
The long, long road...
The long, long road...

(spoken)
Thank you. I got to thinking that it might be kinda fun to analyze the styles of the people I've had the good fortune of working with. When you work with Dean and Frank and the guys, which I've had the pleasure of doing three films now, and numerous benefits and here at the Sands, it's really a ball. And I analyze Frank's style, I've been a fan for a long time. He's always been a great delineator of a lyric, but it seems that in the last ten to fifteen years, since he really developed into a serious dramatic actor, that delineation has been amplified. And if this is the case it means that all actors, then, should have been singers

Can you imagine what would have happened if Humphrey Bogart had been a singer?

(sung)
It's quarter to three
There's no one in the place
Except you and me, blue eyes
So stick 'em up, Joe
I got a little story that I think you oughta know, that's right
Or Jimmy Cagney:

I'm drinkin' my friend, mmhmm, drinkin' my friend
To de end, mmhmm, to de end, of a brief episode
That's right, so you make it one for the kid here
And one more for the road, you dirty rat

And of course, Jimmy Stewart:

Oh, I've got the routine
I think it would be a wonderful idea if we could fix the machine
I really mean that

Or Cary Grant:

I'm feeling so sad
I don't mind telling you
I wish you would make the music a little happy and glad
I really mean that, Eliza

Or WC Fields:

I could tell you a lot
But you've gotta be true to the bartender's code
So make it one for the little whippersnapper
And a small, light basin for yours truly on the road
Coming my dear, coming
Or Marlon Brando:

Uh...
Uh look uh, you'd never know it, you know?
But you know what I am? I am a poet
And I got a lot of things to say
And when I talk at you I want you to look at me
When I'm gloomy, I want someone to listen to me, just until it's-
'Cause I don't know what you've got, but I think I got it now

Dean Martin:

Psst... psst... which way is the audience, pally?

How long I been on?

That's how it goes
Joe... Joe... Joe...
Well you gotta change the card, pally

Joe, I know you're gettin' anxious to close
Ooh yeah
Thanks for the cheer
Hope you didn't mind my bendin' your ear

This touch that I've found
Must be drowned or it soon will explode!

One more for the road
I'm speaking of the long
Don't you know I mean the long
I'm talkin' 'bout the road
The long, long, long road