[Verse 1]
Dogs are barking, birds are chirping
The only thing better if'n I was squirting
But there's no one here to love on me today
For the maiden's on holiday
For the maiden's on holiday

[Verse 2]
I'm a sorry, sorry knight in a horrible castle
Hoping to avoid certain societal hassles
And I know what they say, but I ain't made of clay
For the maiden's on holiday
Yeah, the maiden's on holiday

[Bridge]
I ain't nothing but chivalrous
Ain't never been nothing nasty between us
She knows where she stands
On the heart of a broken man

[Verse 3]
It's gonna be bad no matter what
So I might as well go on ahead and act like a butt
Any old way, yeah, I'm still gonna pay
For the maiden's on holiday
Yeah, the maiden's on holiday