[K: Kunt, LK: Little Kunt]

K: My nob is bigger than your nob
It’s got more pubes and a bulbous helmet
LK: No, my nob is bigger than your nob
It won a rosette at a country fair
K: My nob’s more hairy than your nob
It looks like Justin Lee Collins eating a sausage
LK: My nob’s more veiny than than your nob
It’s like a detailed road map of Britain

K: I like taking my nob to the middle of the woods
And showing it to ladies passing by
LK: Why?
K: Cos it gives me a high
LK: Is that a lie?
K: No, you should give it a try

K: Your nob is smaller than my nob
It looks like someone’s fashioned a miniature
LK: No, your nob is smaller than my nob
It doesn’t touch the sides of a standard vagina
K: Your nob’s more cheesy than my nob
You could use it as bait in a mouse trap
LK: But your nob is gayer than my nob
That isn’t a mole, it’s a little smudge of faeces
K: I like sticking my nob out the side of my trunks
When I got to the local swimming baths
I do it on your behalf
LK: Yes, it’s a laugh
But watch out for the staff

K: My nob is longer than your nob
It’s Peter Crouch to your Michael Owen
LK: My nob is wider than your nob
My bird’s vag is covered in stretch marks
K: My nob is stiffer than your nob
If I turned round quickly I could have Gary Coleman’s eye out
LK: My nob is quicker than your nob
I go from soft to milk in 30 seconds

K: I like putting sunglasses on my nob
Then taking photos of it
LK: Is that gay?
K: I couldn’t say
It just looks like it’s on holiday