Ho ho ho, merry Christmas!
This is what I'd really like this year...

I don’t want a Chocolate Orange
Or a sodding screwdriver set
I don't want any more bastard books
I haven't looked at last year’s yet
I've already got a Nintendo Wii
And I don't want fucking socks
I don't want a bollocking Beano annual
Or a shitty selection box

I don't want novelty slippers like last year
In the shape of Scooby Doo
I nearly broke my fucking neck
Going upstairs for a poo
I don't want cunting handkerchiefs
Or a poxy pair of gloves
But, darling, there is just one thing
That I would really love

Cos all I want for Christmas is you
All I want for Christmas is you (to bring me off)

I don't want an apple and some nuts
In a Christmas stocking
I'm just after something warm
That I can stick my cock in
Maybe I could pop my cock in your gob
Or maybe in your hand
Or even in your front bottom
That would be really grand
Cos all I want for Christmas is you
All I want for Christmas is you (to bring me off)