In the winter I like to go
Out in the garden into the snow
If I see yellow snow I give it a miss
That’s where an animal has done a piss

But with the white snow I always go man
And build it up to make a snowman
But if there’s brown snow I don’t touch it
That’s where an animal has done a shit

Have you seen my snowman?
He’s really cool
Have you seen my snowman?
He’s five feet tall
Have you seen my snowman?
I called him Paul
He’s got buttons for his eyes
A carrot for his nose
Stones for his mouth
A scarf round his neck
A lump of coal
For his arsehole
A courgette for his pecker
And two snowballs

But then one morning the weather’s warm
I look out the window and my snowman’s gorn
I always go out in the garden and cry
I look to the heavens and I scream WHY?!!
Have you seen my snowman?
He’s not here at all
Have you seen my snowman?
He was five feet tall
Have you seen my snowman?
Now there’s just a pool
And some buttons on the ground
A carrot in some water
A little pile of stones
A soaking wet scarf
A lump of coal
Like his arsehole
A limp courgette
And no snowballs