[Refrain]
Fucksticks, mothers cunt, mothers cunt, mothers cunt
Fucksticks, mothers cunt, mothers cunt, mothers cunt
Fucksticks, mothers cunt, mothers cunt, mothers cunt
Fucksticks, mothers cunt, mothers cunt
Fucksticks

[Verse 1]
Now, my old Grandad had a word
He used when things went wrong
To introduce this word to you I put it in a song
So every time this word gets used his memory lives on
I'm about to tell you what it is so you can sing along

[Chorus]
Fucksticks
When Nan wouldn't let him touch her furry pie
Fucksticks
When he got some shrapnel lodged in his Jap's eye
Fucksticks
When a German sniper shot him in the cock
Fucksticks
When he found a lump on his left bollock
Fucksticks
When me Nan died and she left him all alone
Fucksticks
When he let a bogus caller in his home
Fucksticks
When the first black people moved into his street
Fucksticks
When arthritis meant he couldn't beat his meat
[Refrain]
Fucksticks, mothers cunt, mothers cunt, mothers cunt
Fucksticks, mothers cunt, mothers cunt, mothers cunt
Fucksticks, mothers cunt, mothers cunt, mothers cunt
Fucksticks, mothers cunt, mothers cunt
Fucksticks
Fucksticks, c-c-c-cunt
Fucksticks

[Verse 2]
So every time I hear the word
I start to reminisce
I suddenly taste Werthers and get a faint whiff of piss
So when someone annoys me or things get on my pip
I think about the moany, racist old cunt and really let it rip

[Chorus]
Fucksticks
When I miss an open goal in 5-a-side
Fucksticks
When I lost my hard-on's after Nan had died
Fucksticks
When the teacher's told me that I was no good
Fucksticks
When the old bill caught me wanking in the wood
Fucksticks
When I'm having it off and I think of my old man
Fucksticks
When Little Kunt leaves skidmarks down the pan
Fucksticks
When some other fucker pushes in a queue
Fucksticks
When you get caught short and really need a poo
Fucksticks
When I came a-tumbling off my BMX
Fucksticks
When I split my frenulum while having sex
Fucksticks
When some smart arse bastard gives me my comeuppence
Fucksticks
When it's ages since I've seen a lady's tuppence
Fucksticks
When there's no clean pants so you have to wear your Mum's
Fucksticks
When your bird won't let you fuck her up the bum
Fucksticks
When you feel all queer and you don't know what to say
If you say 'Fucksticks, fucksticks, fucksticks'
It just makes everything ok
[Outro]
Fucksticks, mothers cunt, mothers cunt, mothers cunt
Fucksticks, mothers cunt, mothers cunt, mothers cunt
Fucksticks, mothers cunt, mothers cunt, mothers cunt
Fucksticks, mothers cunt, mothers cunt
Fucksticks