I’m singing you a little song
Shut your fucking cakehole and it won’t take long
Cheer up, you cunt

Your landlord says your rent is overdue
He’ll throw you out unless you let him finger you
Cheer up, you cunt

Doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo

Your bird’s irate and wants to get rid of yer
Cos you came back off a lad’s holiday and gave her chlamydia
Cheer up, you cunt

You scalded yourself by putting soup in a Breville
You’re a rat faced cunt like Gary Neville
Cheer up, you cunt

Doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo
You caught HIV from sharing a needle
Life dealt you a hand like Jeremy Beadle
Cheer up, you cunt

You were late for work cos you got stuck behind a learner
A firework went off up your cunt, like Anthea Turner
Cheer up, you cunt

Doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo

Even if you’re a refugee
And been sold into the sex trade for your punani
Cheer up, you cunt