It was a normal day, I was having a wank
My knob was quite cheesy and it smelt pretty rank
It was just like any ordinary day
Then just as I'm about to shoot my load
A sombre voice came on the radio
And told me Princess Di had passed away
Well, suddenly my stiffy went away

CHORUS:
Oh, Princess Di, why did you have to die?
Why d'ya die? Why d'ya die?!!
Just when I had a tingle in my Jap's eye?
My Jap's eye, my Jap's eye, my Jap's eye?!!
Oh, Princess Di, I'll wank and I will cry
Wank and cry, wank and cry, wank and cry!!!

Now when I get a erection in my private parts
I start to think about the Queen of Hearts
And that's when blood drains out my knob
I've got to forget about the fatal crash
And think about Diana's hairy gash
And suddenly I feel it start to throb
So I sob and I have a hand job