'Yo, Kunt and the Gang, trip it up one time!!'

Shave my pussy, sh-sh-shave my pussy
Sh-sh-shave my pussy
Shave it, shave it, shave it...

I'm tired of when I'm licking out a lady's underneath
Of always getting curly pubic hairs stuck in my teeth
I want a girl who's crack is a bit more like Kojak
It's a shaven haven that I am craving

And everytime I'm going down on a lady's bush
I'm fed up of those sweaty tufts that tickle round my mush
I want a girl who's minge is like Duncan Goodhew's fringe
It's a shaven haven that I am craving
(It's a shaven haven that he is craving)

CHORUS:
Well, it's a shaven haven that I am craving
Over hairy beavers I'm a-fed up slaving
For a baldy bint that I myself am saving
It's a shaven haven that I am craving
(It's a shaven haven that he is craving)

So if I'm being cunni-lingual with a lady's quim
I'd hope she'd have the decency to give her chuff a trim
I want a girl who's biff doesn't look like Robert Smith
It's a shaven haven that I am craving
And if I'm performing oral on a lady's slit
The last thing that I want is Brian May around her clit
I want a girl who's crevice doesn't look like Dave Lee Travis
It's a shaven haven that I am craving
(It's a shaven haven that he is craving)

Shave my pussy, sh-sh-shave my pussy
Sh-sh-shave my pussy
Shave it, shave it, shave it...