I bought a book with Carol Vorderman on the front
'Cause I thought they'd be some pictures of her hairy cunt
But instead it was full of detox recipes
With celery, lentils and chick fuckin' peas
Well, I felt like a dirty trick had been played
I'm already so thin there's a rumour I've got Aids
I love Carol Vorderman, I think she's a fox
But there's only one place I want her to detox

CHORUS:
Detox my cock, oh, won't you pull it off?
I need to get rid of all this off milk from my pods
Detox my cock, oh, pull my foreskin back
I need to get rid of all this bad juice from my sack, my scrotal sack
My sack, my scrotal sack

I tried a health farm to get my ball bags clear
But they just turned me over and displayed my rear
They stuck a hose up my arse and pumped me full of Gold Blend
It burst one of my piles and now I'm on the mend
I felt like I'd been the butt of something shady
Because I already weighed less than Ian Brady
I love Carol so much I have to touch my dirt box
But there's only one place I'd like her to detox
(Can you guess where that is?)