Well, I was seeing this girl, it was going OK
But while shopping in Tescos I noticed one day
She was having a scratch of her snatch
She looked in discomfort with her itchy old thatch

I thought 'Maybe she's got a rash
That's causing irritation of her gash?'
She acted as if nothing was wrong
But it was then I noticed a pong

She had a feminine itch
An itch on her snitch
And when no-one was looking
She gave her finger a sniff
And it smelt of piss and it smelt of fish
So when no-one's looking she gave it a lick
And it tasted like cod in batter
But I told her it didn't matter
I thought the way to make her smile
Would be to head to the yoghurt isle

So when we got home she laid on her back
She parted her legs and rubbed some yoghurt up her crack
She smeared the whole pot around her front bot
But she had a bit of discharge and the yoghurt went off
The sight was unattractive
The yoghurt was bio-active
So she went to the bathroom to wash it all off
But it was all caked in her pubes

She had a feminine itch
An itch on her snitch
And when no-one was looking
She gave her finger a sniff
And it smelt of piss and it smelt of fish
So when no-one's looking she gave it a lick
And it tasted like scampi Nik Naks
And she always had a hand down her cacks
Which was followed by a pungent smell
So I'm afraid it was farewell