I got him from the pet shop
They said he was a guard dog
The only thing that's fierce about him
Is his constant hard-on
He gets all excited when I'm giving him a biscuit
He gets a bit of dogs jizz on his little lipstick

And one time I smelt it and it smelt so rank
He just can't leave his cock alone
That's why we call him 'Wank'

CHORUS:
Wank the dog, wank the dog
Pull on a marigold and wank the dog
Wank the dog, wank the dog
Pull on a marigold and wank the dog

He may not be a pedigree
But he's always got a drop of white wee-wee for me
So I follow him around with a square of toilet paper
Damp him down when he's around
'Cause he will try and rape ya
I took him to the vets who said that he could chop his plods off
But I quite like relieving him so I told him to sod off

My dog's randy, he's very, very randy
The only way to calm him down
Is to give him a hand shandy