[Verse 1]
Alright, stop what you're doin' 'cause I'm about to ruin
The image and the style that you're used to
I look funny, but yo, I'm making money, see
So, yo, world, I hope you're ready for me
Now gather 'round, I'm the new fool in town
And my sound's laid down by the Underground
I'll drink up all the Hennessy you got on your shelf
So just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with an, "Umpty"
Yo, ladies, oh, how I like to funk thee
And all the rappers in the top ten, please allow me to bump thee
I'm steppin' tall, y'all, and just like Humpty Dumpty
You're gonna fall when the stereos pump me
I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky
I'm spunky, I like my oatmeal lumpy
I'm sick with this
Straight gangster mack, but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
Ayo, fat girl, come here, are you ticklish?
Yeah, I called you fat, look at me, I'm skinny
It never stopped me from getting busy
I'm a freak, I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
I'm crazy, allow me to amaze thee
They say I'm ugly, but it just don't faze me
I'm still getting in the girls' pants
And I even got my own dance
[Chorus]
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the Hump (Come on, uh)
Do the Humpty Hump (Come on and), do the Humpty Hump (Check me out, y'all)
Do the Humpty Hump (Just watch me), do the Humpty Hump (Yeah, do you know what I'm doing?)
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (Doing the Humpty Hump, come on)
Do the Humpty Hump (Ha), do the Humpty Hump

[Verse 2]
People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
That's alright 'cause I get things cookin'
You stare, you glare, you constantly try to compare me
But you can't get near me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B
All the girls, they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really being sincere
'Cause in a 69, my humpty nose will tickle your rear
My nose is big, uh-uh, I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still getting paid
I get laid by the ladies, you know I'm in charge
Both how I'm living and my nose is large
I get stupid, I'll shoot an arrow like Cupid
I'll use a word that don't mean nothing like, "Looptid"
I sang on, "Doowutchyalike," and if you missed it
I'm the one who said, "Just grab 'em in the biscuits"
Also told you that I like to bite
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write
All you had to do was give Humpty a chance
And now I'm gonna do my dance
[Chorus]
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump (Come on, yeah, sexy lady)
Do the Humpty Hump (Come on, uh), do the Humpty Hump (Sexy baby, everybody)
Do the Humpty Hump (Come on and), do the Humpty Hump (Uh)
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (Do you know what we're doing? We're doing the Humpty Hump, y'all, uh)
Do the Humpty Hump (Watch me), do the Humpty Hump

[Interlude]
Ah yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let a little bit of that bass groove right here
Err-rear, der-rit, err-rear, der-rit
Ah, yeah
Now that I told y'all a little bit about myself
Let me tell you a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do, check it out

[Verse 3]
First I limp to the side like my legs was broken
Shaking and twitching kind of like I was smoking
Crazy, whack, funky
People say, "You look like MC Hammer on crack, Humpty"
That's alright 'cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two people will do it the same
You got it down when you appear to be in pain
Humpin', funkin', jumpin'
Gig around, shaking your rump
And when a doo-doo chump punk points a finger like a stunt
Tell him, "Step off, I'm doing the Hump"
[Chorus]
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump (Everybody, uh)
Do the Humpty Hump (Come on and), do the Humpty Hump (Sexy lady, uh)
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (Do you know what I'm doing? We're doing the Humpty Hump, y'all, uh, watch me)
Do the Humpty Hump (Uh), do the Humpty Hump (Yo, yo, Black people)
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (Come on, white people)
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (Puerto Ricans)
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (Just keep on doing the Hump, Samoans)
Do the Humpty Hump (Do the), do the Humpty Hump

[Interlude]
Ah, yeah
Let's get stupid (Give me the music)
Uh

[Chorus]
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (Give me— Give me the music, everybody)
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump (Uh, give me— Give me the music)
Do the Humpty Hump (Come on and), do the Humpty Hump