[Verse 1:]
Five of the PM rolls around
There's a little old joint outside of town
I only got time for a couple of beers
And a jukebox song ringing in my ears

The next you know
The bartenders pouring
Shots are flowing
Got me stoning
All I really know is that I should be going
But I'm soaking up the moment

[Chorus:]
I'm all jacked up
All jacked up
Don't believe I've ever had this much
One thing I've learned when you get tore up
Time sure flies
When you're all jacked up

[Verse 2:]
It was getting mighty close to nine o'clock
What the hell
I have one more shot
Then I winked at a boy at the end of the bar
Guess I mighta musta gone a little too far
Cause a big 'ol girl walked outta the blue

Ten foot, two
With a bad attitude
Stepped right up
And knocked out my tooth
Guess I had it coming I deserved the due

[Chorus:]
Cause I was all jacked up
All jacked up
Don't believe I've ever had this much

One thing I've learned when you get tore up
Don't start no stuff
When you're all jacked up

[Bridge:]
Don't have to go home
But you can't stay here
That's what they said when I got my last beer

[Verse 3:]
Oh my God, it's 2:00
I can't find my keys and my trucks locked
So I grabbed a tire tool
And I broke my window
Hurt my elbow
Got me in though
Two foot later
Backed into the light pole
All the town folk got a good show

[Chorus:]
All jacked up
All jacked up
Don't believe I've ever had this much

One thing I've learned when you get tore up
Don't drive your truck
When you're all jacked up

Jacked up
(All jacked up, all jacked up)
Ooh, oooh, oooooh

One thing I've learned when you get tore up
Don't start no stuff
When you're all jacked up

One thing I've learned when you get tore up
Don't drive your car
Don't start no stuff in no bar
Hell
I wouldn't even tell anybody where you are
When you're all jacked up
All jacked up
All jacked up
All jacked up

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah