Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today, madam
Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today
She's so sorry to be delayed
But last evening, down in lover's lane she strayed, madam
Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today

When she woke up and found
That her dream of love had gone, madam
She ran to the man who led her so far astray
And from under her velvet gown
She drew a fourty-four pistol
And she shot that dirty rascal down, madam
Now, Old Lady Otis regrets she's disabled and she can't lunch today

[Instrumental Break]

And the moment before she died
She lifted her lovely head and cried, "Oh, madam"
Miss Otis regrets she's not able to lunch today