As I went out one morning
To breathe the air around Tom Paine's
I spied the fairest damsel
That ever did walk in chains

I offered her my hand
She took me by the arm
I knew that very instant
She meant to do me harm

Depart from me this moment
I told her with my voice
Said she, "But I don't wish to"
Said I, "But you have no choice"

"I beg you, sir," she pleaded
From the corners of her mouth
"I will secretly accept you
And together we'll fly south"

Just then Tom Paine himself
Came runnin' from across the field
Shoutin' at this lovely girl
And commandin' her to yield

And as she was lettin' go her grip
Up Tom Paine did run
"I'm sorry sir," he said to me
"I'm sorry for what she's done"