Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey
Was a really clumsy kid
On the first day of first grade
I'll tell you what he did
He tripped over a pencil box
Flew up in the air
Landed on a kangaroo
Who pulled out all his hair
He needed first aid in the first grade
First aid in the first grade
First aid in the first grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Oh, Billy Joe McGuffrey
Was a really clumsy kid
On the second say of second grade
I'll tell you what he did
He slipped on a banana peel
Flew up in the sky
Landed on a chimpanzee
Who poked him in the eye
He needed first aid in the second grade
First aid in the second grade
First aid in the second grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid
Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey
Was a really clumsy kid
On the third day of third grade
I'll tell you what he did
He fell out of a fishing boat
Splashed into the sea
Landed on a moray eel
Who bit him on the knee
He needed first aid in the third grade
First aid in the third grade
First aid in the third grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Mr. Asparagus: "Twelfth grade!"

Now, Billy Joe McGuffrey
Was a really clumsy kid
On the twelfth day of twelfth grade
I'll tell you what he did
He walked into financial aid
Fell and broke a bone
Showed them all his bills
And got a great big college loan
He needed first aid in the twelfth grade
First aid in the twelfth grade
First aid in the twelfth grade
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid
You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid!