One day while he was waiting for the trolley, he had a hat
My high silk hat
He wore it high upon his head so proudly, a beautiful hat
My high silk hat

A hat like this just makes him feel so grandly
Now fancy this and fancy that
The splendor of his hat in all it's majesty
Like a king in a royal cap

I feel so swell and handsome in my hat
I bet that others wish they had in fact
A hat as this, a hat as that, a hat so fine, a high silk hat
Oh Mr. Art Bigotti, now what do you think of that?

Now his hat was not all he wore so proudly
I must in fact share more than that
For upon his lap there sat a treat so fondly
Of chocolate this and chocolate that

Deliciousness that makes him feel so dandy
A chocolate bliss, a chocolate snack
Confections such as these are more than candy
Somewhat like life, a box of that

I have my chocolate placed upon my lap
I feel so good, you just cannot top that
I have my snack, a chocolate pack, of chocolate this and chocolate that
Oh golly Mr Nezzer, now what do you think of that?
Now time was passing and the sun grew hotter
Upon his hat and his chocolate snack
So beneath his hat he thought and pondered
What should I do to save my hat?

He thought and contemplated as he perspired
Beneath his hat, upon his lap
He feared his chocolate treats would soon retire
Into a pool a chocolate vat

I won't feel grand if I take off my hat
The sun's getting hot and my hat just might go flat
My hat, it might go flat, and my sweets will melt like that
Oh, hurry Mr Trolley before my dapperness goes flat

He decided to fore go his looks so dashing
To save his hat and little snack
So he placed the treats upon the seat beside him
And put his hat on top of that

Oh please! Oh please, oh please!
Don't anybody sit close to me, upon my hat
I ask, if all of you could be so kindly
And just stand back, away from my snack

A great big squash just sat upon my hat
A great big squash just squished my hat real flat
He squashed my hat, he made it flat
He squished my snack, oh what of that?
Oh tell me anybody, now what do you think of that?
A great big squash just sat upon his hat
A great big enormous squash squished his hat real flat
He squashed his hat, he made it flat
He squished his snack, oh what of that?
Oh golly, uh, what's your name?

They've never given me a name
I have been around since show one and I still don't have a name
Now what do you think of that?