Announcer: And now it's time for "Helpful Humanitarian Songs with Mr. Lunt", the part of the show where Mr. Lunt comes out and sings a Helpful Humanitarian Song

Lunt: Well he's a mangy old pet

If you saw him I bet You'd walk the other way
So sad and alone
With his hair overgrown
Like a stinky old toupee
But doggies have feelings, and doggies need love
And doggies like those deep fried treats
That come from up above
Ohhh! Donuts for Benny
Please give.. a glazed to make his smile
Thank you, ma'am!
Poor troubled beast
Won't you at least
Comfort him awhile?
Sir, can you spare a... donut for Benny
Please help my doggy friend
Thank you kind sir!
A honey dip would really help
His broken heart to mend... (2x)
Well just look at this pup
He is brightening up
He's looking not so weak
Oh Benny!
His outlook was grim
'Till you gave pastries to him
Oh look, he wants to speak...
Oh, doggies have feelings!
And doggies need love!
And doggies like sweet, doughy treats that come from up above!
Benny: (energize) Waltz me around again baby!
Around, around, around!
These donuts are dreamy!
Their filling is creamy!
Oh! Don't let my feet touch the ground
I feel like a ship
On an ocean of joy
I just want to holler out loud
"SHIP AHOY!"
Waltz me around again baby!
Around, around, around!

Lunt: Maybe... you shouldn't have any more donuts

Townspeople: Oh, doggies have feelings

Lunt: No no no no! Don't give him any more! It'll make him crazy!

Townspeople: Doggies need love

Lunt: No, no more donuts for the dog! Oh man, this is a terrible idea

Townspeople: And doggies like sweet, doughy treats that come from up above!

Benny: (energize) Waltz me around again baby!
Around, around, around!

These donuts are dreamy! Their filling is creamy!

Oh! Don't let my feet touch the ground

I feel like a ship

On an ocean of joy

I just want to holler out loud

SHIP AHOY!

Waltz me around again baby!

Around, around, around!

Announcer: This has been "Helpful Humanitarian Songs with Mr. Lunt", tune in next time to hear Mr. Lunt say...

Lunt: Don't..give...donuts...to dogs!!