Who gathers all the talk of the town
Who gives it to you, does it up brown
Who caters to the girls of your tribe
Dr. Heckle and Mr. Jibe

They corner each and all of their clues
They publish what’ll soon become news
Live wires you better prescribe
To Dr. Heckle and Mr. Jibe

When there’s room for argument
Get out them hammer and tongs
They don’t know from nothin’, so
They always wind up kickin’ gongs

Yeah, here begins
Just bring ‘round thе bottle of gin
Takin’ bets on how to imbibe
From Dr. Hеckle and Mr. Jibe

-(Sax, drum solo, instrumental break)-

At last, somethin’ confidential in news
Give the credit where the credit is due
The Pulitzer prize for the champion lies
Goes to Heckle, M.D. and Jibe, esquire
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Recorded 17 October 1933, New York
English Brunswick 01834