You can try holding up a payroll
With your pants around your ankles
And a darkened plastic bag over your head
Tied on real tightly
Put sugar in the gas tank of your flat-tired getaway car
With an amputated arsehole at the wheel
You can't tell me that it's a real steal

And you will fail, You'll go to jail
Yeah you will fail, You'll go to jail

Try to viciously attack a Newtown Jets half backer
With both hands and legs tied behind your back
And a sultry shade of lipstick on your mouth
And if you somehow make it out
Call his mum a hooker on the way
Well today is really not your day

And you will fail, You'll go to jail
Yeah you will fail, You'll go to jail
And you will fail, You'll go to jail
And you will fail, You'll go to jail

Try saving all the trees, or free the refuges
Or prove you're not a coward by killing Johnny Howard
Murder all the Racists, welcome blokes from other places
Force everyone to stop eating meat
I wouldn't bother getting off your seat
I wouldn't bother trying you'll just end up doing time
And if you want to make a difference you'll just end up in a prison
Getting buggered every time you go to sleep
And you will fail, You'll go to jail
And you will fail, You'll go to jail
And you will fail, You'll go to jail
And you will fail, You'll go to jail