[Verse 1]
Early retirement’s killing me slow
Sliding down that long plateau
I sold my TV and my stereo
But it won’t last very long

I got no postman getting me high
Top shelf gotta say goodbye
Stone broke and starry eyed
But I know what’s going wrong

[Verse 2]
I wanna see you, meet at the pub
Not in the bistro, I’m sitting out the front
With a bottle and a smile and a “what do you want?”
Gonna sit here for a while

[Chorus]
I’m back on instant coffee
No fancy dinners for me
I’ve got the secret
And I’m living out my life happily
I’m back on instant coffee
Still get my good times for free
I’m in the gutter
And I’m living like exiled royalty
[Verse 3]
And if you see me, don’t pass me by
Yeah I remember that look in your eye
There by the grace of your nine to fucken five
Yeah and I’ve got a plan and I’m doing alright
Got a teaspoon and a smile

[Chorus]
I’m back on instant coffee
No fancy dinners for me
I’ve got the secret
And I’m living out my life happily
I’m back on instant coffee
Still get my good times for free
I’m in the gutter
And I’m living like exiled royalty

[Outro]
I’m back on instant coffee
I’m back on instant coffee
I’m in the gutter and I’m living like exiled royalty
I’m in the gutter and I’m living like exiled royalty