The world for some years
Has been sodden with tears
On behalf of the acting profession
Each star playing a part
Seems to expect a Purple Heart
It's unorthodox to be born in a box
But it needn't become an obsession
Let's hope we have no worse to plague us
Than two shows a night in Las Vegas
When I think of physicians and mathematicians
Who don't earn a quarter the dough
When I look at the faces
Of people in Macy's
There's one thing I'm burning to know:

Why must the show go on?
It can't be all that indispensable
To me, it really isn't sensible on the whole
To play a leading role
While fighting those tears you can't control
Why kick up your legs
When draining the dregs
Of sorrow's bitter cup?
Because you have read
Some idiot has said
'The curtain must stay up!'
I'd like to know
Why a star takes bows
Having just returned from burying her spouse
Brave boop-a-doopers
Go home and dry your tears
Gallant old troopers
You've bored us all for years
And if you're so blue
Wet through
And thoroughly woe-begone
Why must the show go on?
Oh, mammy
Why must the show go on?
We're asked to condole
With each tremulous soul
Who steps out to be loudly applauded
Stars on opening nights
Weep when they see their names in lights
Though people who act
As a matter of fact
Are, financially, amply rewarded
It seems, when pursuing their calling
Their suffering's simply appalling
But butchers, and bakers, and candlestick makers
Get little applause for their pains
When I think of miners
And waiters in diners
The query forever remains:

Why must the show go on?
The rule
Is surely not immutable
It . . . It might be wiser
And more suitable
Just to close
If you are in the throes
Of personal grief and private woes
Why stifle a sob when doing your job
When, if you'd use your head
You'd go out and grab
A comfortable cab
And go right home to bed?
Because you're not
Giving us much fun
This 'Laugh, Clown, Laugh' routine's been overdone
Hats off to showfolks
For smiling when they're blue
But more comme il faut folks
Are sick of smiling through
And if you're out cold
Too old
And most of your teeth have gone
Why must the show go on?
I sometimes wonder
Why must the show go on?
Why must the show go on?
Now, why not announce the closing night of it?
The public seem to hate the sight of it, dear
And so
Why you should undergo
This terrible strain
We'll never know
We know that you're sad
We know that you've had
A lot of storm and strife
But is it quite fair
To ask us to share
Your dreary private life?
We know you're trapped in a gilded cage
But for heaven's sake
Relax and be your age
Stop being gallant
And don't be such a bore
Pack up your talent
There's always plenty more
And if you lose hope
Take dope
And lock yourself in the John
Why must the show go on?
I'm merely asking
Why must the show
Go on?