[Intro]
Girls! Girls!
Watch out! Watch out!
There's a two legged animal running about

[Verse 1]
If it smokes a great big cigar
And it hangs around at a bar
If it tells the biggest lies, wears the loudest ties
It's a man!

If it acts just like a crosspatch
Has a face with whiskers that scratch
If its stubborn as can be, mean and ornery
It's a man!

[Chorus]
If it walks, if it talks
If its habits are a little bit peculiar
If it brags and tries to make you think it's wonderful
Be on the lookout, don't let it fool ya

But if it makes the moon up on high
More than just a light in the sky
If it kisses you and you find you like it too
Grab it!
It's a man!
[Brass Solo]

[Verse 2]
If it whistles each time you pass
Owns a car that runs out of gas
Then it's time that you get hip, better watch your step
It's a man!

If it acts just like it's the boss
When it knows that you are of course
If it gets a little rough, thinks it's very tough
Ow! It's a man!

[Chorus]
If it walks, if it talks
If its habits are a little bit peculiar
If it brags and tries to make you think it's wonderful
Be on the lookout, don't let it fool ya

But if it's kneeling down on one knee
Saying "Darling, please marry me"
Then don't hesitate, better name the date
And then grab it!
Hold it!
Hang onto it!
For it's a man!