Its Friday night, I've got a date
With this vegan girl, Kate
You know I really like her style
And smile and style

Whoa! I love you Kate but you've gone to far
You won't even sit in my brand new car
It's got reclining bucket seats and a CD player
So what's your fucking beef

Is it my cozy leather seats
Is it the covers made from sheep
OK I guess that we can walk
And walk and walk and walk

What kind of guy do you think I am
You take off your shoes when you're in Japan
I bought this outfit just for you
So what if their suede and now my jacket too

So what am I supposed to do
I'll freeze to death and get the flu
Ok I'll do it just for you
For you, for you, for you

We made it out and we had an OK time
I caught pneumonia and a mild case of frostbite
She said "I'm sorry Mark, I hope that you pull through
Next time we go out please just wear some different shoes"
I tried to fuck her and you know what happened then
She said that condom you've got is made from a lambs skin
So what's your problem
So what's your problem

Last Friday night you know I had this date
It was with this vegan girl, I think her name was Kate
If you're lookin for some action or if you want to score
Just eat some bark or acorns and she will like you more than me