[Verse 1]
A shitty situation, someone jacked my car
My taste is getting larger while I’m drinking at the bar
A shitty situation soon to be my past
If you buy me a drink I’m sure I’ll have a blast

[Chorus]
Chronic constipation like viewing others art
Lovely conversation but now I have to part
Decline your invitation I’ve got other plans
My time with you is nearly through I need a brand new start

[Verse 2]
A shitty situation, now that she can’t drive
I better take the plunge while this thing is still alive
A shitty situation, I hope that no one sees
Should I call a cab or why not steal her keys?

[Chorus]
Chronic constipation like viewing others art
Lovely conversation but now I have to part
Decline your invitation I’ve got other plans
My time with you is nearly through I need a brand new start

[Bridge]
An unsuspecting victim, a wallet or a purse
Your cards and your meds are why I’m so perverse
An unsuspecting victim, drinking at the bar
Desperate and alone please to meet you I am Mark
[Verse 3]
A shitty situation my judgement is a skew
I thought I picked up one but clearly it’s a two
A shitty situation very well rehearsed
Oh is that your friend now I’m going through your purse
Now I'm going through your purse
Now I'm going through your purse
Now I'm going through your purse
Now I'm going through your p-p-purse