Foolish thing to ponder, a more foolish thing to do
I'm pretty fuckin’ glad that I'm not you
I know she was expecting, ah, we'd get married anyway
A house, nice cars, ten credit cards, she’s never worked a day

He slaves his fucking ass off to support his rotund wife
He's lost his own identity for the remainder of his life
His fourteen-year old daughter has her third kid on the way
Collect some life insurance is a message I convey

Kids are screaming
Wife is nagging
Dog is barking
He had to burn it down
Strike the match
Dead bolt that latch
Gone in a flash
Burn it down

He's like a soulless being, like a hamster on a wheel
As soon as you tied that knot that cage was made of steel
I'll enroll myself in Weight-Watchers or, maybe, join a gym
What about that thousand-dollar treadmill that you bought on a whim?

He slaves his fucking ass off to support his rotund wife
He's lost his own identity for the remainder of his life
His fourteen-year old daughter has her third kid on the way
Collect some life insurance is a message I convey
The kids are screaming
The wife is nagging
The dog is barking
He had to burn it down
Strike the match
Dead bolt that latch
Gone in a flash
Burn it down

The kids are screaming
The wife is nagging
The dog is barking
He had to burn it down
Strike the match
Then pull that latch
Gone in a flash
Burn it down

Fourteen-year old daughter has her third kid on the way
Collect some life insurance is a message I convey