I delievered the orders from your last Stanley Party
Though I got some strange looks at the doors
And I cancelled our subscription to the Ladies Home Journal
And told Avon not to call anymore

Men have no need for magazines they don't read
For perfume and powder and such
Me and the house and everything in it
Have lost the feminine touch

The clock on the wall just gave up and stopped ticking
And the flowers on the mantle have died
The dust is gettin' deep on everything but the ceiling
And I've lost all my homeowner's pride

Bottles are made from the bar to the bedroom
I've turned to such things for a crutch
Me and the house and everything in it
Have lost the faminine touch
Girl I sure miss your feminine touch