[Verse 1]
I saw Wicked thirty times and I'm not ashamed of that
In fact, I'll go again as soon as I can
But I'm too busy breakfast slammin'
Some strawberries with smoked salmon
Pizza coffee by the gallon
Black beans shootin' out the can

[Pre-Chorus]
You know it's true
In these wrestling shoes
You know it's true
I'll be BCCing you
You know it's true
Also, can I please use your nice shampoo?
Like ten times more than anyone needs to?

[Chorus]
I drive a freeballin' stress machine
Through the cracks of your in-between
I don't care if you laugh at me
Cos it's all that I've got in the end

[Verse 2]
I love sleeping in my van
Much better than a nice hotel
I'll drive a thousand miles by myself
No, I don't want any help
Drive all day 'cross Indiana
Look! The Mighty Susquehanna
Nah, nah nah nah
[Pre-Chorus]
You know it's true
Drink my vitamin D
You know it's true
Just BBB being me
You know it's true
And it's easy
It's a 1 2 3 4 1 2
Then you gotta play it like a cupcake falling from a window

[Chorus]
I drive a freeballin' stress machine
Through the cracks of your in-between
Gotta love if you laugh at me
Cos it's all that I've got in the end

[Bridge]
Head lamp
Ham hog
Tone bowl
Bullfrog
Rain melt
Dances
S.W.A.T. vest
Mantis
Cube head
Stonehenge
Zicam
Back-bends
So much more that I'm forgetting
Good thing I'm not in charge of weddings
Stop

[Chorus]
I am texting my whole band for a list of shit I do
And yeah, they're even making fun of me for this
But guys, can we please get to work here?
This is serious business. The trailer's not gonna load itself

[Pre-Chorus]
You know it's true
Have you seen my keepsake box?
You know it's true
Tuck these pants into these socks
You know it's true
I can spot a pregnant stick bug from a mile away
Bet you can't
Can

[Chorus]
Yeah I'm a freeballin' stress machine
In the cracks of your in-between
And I love when you laugh at me
Cos we're all that we've got in the end

[Outro]
How you like me now? Tell me can you feel me?
We're all that we've got in the end
How you like me now? Tell me can you feel me?
We're all that we've got in the end
How you like me now? Tell me can you feel me?
We're all that we've got in the end
How you like me now? Tell me can you feel me?
Uh. Ok guys, take lunch