[Verse 1]
Straight from the barber shoppe
To the emergency room
I had to take the bus with Gus
All the way through
Dr. Spock, he said he's seen this before
But not since Ratt came to town
Go round and round
He said, there's nothin' I can do for you boy
It's too late, too late, but my brother's an attorney if you're gonna press charges

[Chorus]
Hockey hair, soccer rocker
Sphinx, sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker
Sphinx, sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker
Sphinx, sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel

[Chorus 2]
I knew that I had to cut it
Just buzz it off and say fuck it!
Party out back, vokuhila
Get me the fuck outta here
[Chorus]
Hockey hair, soccer rocker
Sphinx, sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker
Sphinx, sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker
Sphinx, sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker
Sphinx, sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel

[Bridge: Schaffer the Darklord, Brendan B. Brown]
In the sixth century A.D., Byzantine scholar Procopius wrote that some factions of young males wore their hair long at the back and cut it short over the forehead

This non-Roman style was termed the 'hunnic,' or in our modern tongue, 'hockey hair.'

By fiscal year 1987, 93% of young males grew their hair long only in the back and 97% listed the mullet as their hairstyle of choice

In calendar years 1988, 1989, 1990 and 91, more humans wore mullets than any other hairstyle, making the mullet the most proliferated aesthetic abomination of last 1400 years

M U L L E T
Help me... OH GOD!
[Guitar solo]

[Chorus]
Hockey hair, soccer rocker
Sphinx, sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker
Sphinx, sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker
Sphinx, sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel
Hockey hair, soccer rocker
Sphinx, sphinx
Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel

[Chorus 2]
I knew that I had to cut it
Just buzz it off and say fuck It!
Party out back, vokuhila
Get me the fuck outta here